Introduction
Twenty years ago, advice for an unhappy person would have been simple: “Stop dwelling on your own misfortune. Try instead to become creatively absorbed in outside interests and external activities.” Today, however, the message is radically different: “Build up your own sense of self-worth. Take pride in yourself! Your feelings of unhappiness will surely evaporate if you only esteem yourself more highly!” But is this new “self-esteem” religion actually making us happier, or is it just leading us into a vicious cycle?
The Philosophical Void of Self-Esteem
We live in an era obsessed with the internal self-image. Bookstores are filled with volumes promising “breakthrough techniques” for conquering our doubts about our “true” value. Yet, despite decades of promoting self-esteem, the average person today is as confused as ever.
The problem lies in the fact that the entire concept of “personal worth” has become hopelessly ill-defined and philosophically empty. Instead of objectively appraising the external world, we have become preoccupied with the internal effort to elevate our own self-appraisal. When we say someone has “self-esteem,” we rarely mean they value themselves without justification. We tend to rate ourselves based on conditions—our virtues, physical attractiveness, or professional achievements.
[CLINICAL INSIGHT]
- Key Point #1: Most people unfortunately believe that self-esteem must, in some way, be earned through accomplishments.
This approach, where we tie our worth to external factors, turns self-esteem into a fragile structure that collapses the moment we stop “achieving.” Instead of becoming stable, we become slaves to our own ratings.
Explore the Source
If you wish to delve deeper into the psychological foundations of this issue, you can read Dr. Mike Abrams’ original research and full analysis on REBT for Sexual Problems at psychology.ws